Think Outside the Pink

It is estimated that 1.3 million women are physically abused by an intimate partner each year (that’s not even counting women who experience emotional, sexual or financial abuse, or stalking by an intimate partner). Also keep in mind that intimate partner violence is severely underreported so 1.3 million is probably a very low number. The American Cancer Society estimates that 230,000 women will be affected by breast cancer in 2011.

So why is everyone so “aware” of breast cancer, but not domestic violence? Why do you see more pink ribbons than purple ribbons? It’s not that I want people to ditch their pink ribbons for purple ribbons; but I do want people to be aware about the existence (and prevalence) of domestic violence. If only domestic violence got as much attention and awareness as breast cancer...

There’s secrecy associated with domestic violence. It’s something we don’t talk about, but it exists in 1 out of 4 relationships. That means if you know four couples, chances are, at least one set of them is experiencing intimate partner violence. When I say intimate partner violence, I mean a range of behaviors where a partner gains or maintains power and control over another partner. These abusive behaviors can include put-downs, stalking, name-calling, hitting, intimidation, threats, etc. We all know someone who is, or was, experiencing abuse by an intimate partner. And if you can’t think of one person you’ve known who is, or was, experiencing abuse by an intimate partner, then I’m sure you can think of at least one person who is in an unhealthy relationship.  

The sad reality is that a lot of us experience intimate partner violence, and most of us are affected by intimate partner violence in some way. If you’ve been affected by intimate partner violence (either by personal experience, or knowing someone close who has gone through it) then someone else in your space has most likely been affected by it as well. You are not alone. So talk it up! For Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I ask for you to talk about domestic violence. Speak out against domestic violence. Join causes working to end violence in your community. Ask your friend those important, hard questions when you suspect that person is being abused by an intimate partner. Learn how to best support and respond to someone experiencing intimate partner violence. DVAM is not meant to be the only time we talk about it, but it is meant to encourage and push for the start of the conversation.

And here’s what I have to say about breast cancer awareness month:

Breast cancer, if detected early, is almost always curable. If you’re thinking about giving money to breast cancer awareness, consider giving your money to your local women’s health care clinics such as Planned Parenthood (www.plannedparenthood.org) or the Feminist Women’s Health Centers of California (www.womenshealthspecialists.org), who provide affordable and accessible health care to women in your community, including breast cancer screenings. Women who do not have access to health care, particularly regular breast cancer screenings, are at a greater risk of finding breast cancer late, when it becomes life-threatening. My issue is that our society focuses on breast cancer treatment/research rather than ensuring that all women have access to health care. Certainly, the treatment for breast cancer is important, but if we focused as many resources into health care for all women as we give to research, I think we would have healthier women and less serious cases of breast cancer. I am supportive of women’s health care, which includes breast cancer screenings.

If you’d like to give money to domestic violence work, you can check out Catalyst Domestic Violence Services (www.catalystdvservices.org) or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-SAFE) to find and support a domestic violence agency in your area. Domestic violence agencies are also in need of wonderful volunteers.